幽默英语名言
1、抽，是一种生活艺术；找抽，是一种生活态度。
Smoking is a kind of art of life; looking for smoking is a kind of attitude toards life.
2、随缘不是得过且过，因循苟且，而是尽人事听天命。
Suessful fate is not muddling along, abiding by ticulous rules, but doing everything possible to obey the destiny of the heavens.
3、对女人不好的男人，下辈子都投胎做卫生巾去！
Men ho are not good for on ill be reincarnated as sanitary napkins in their next life.
4、不能骂上帝，不让上帝会带你去见他。
Don't sld God, don't let God take you to see him.
5、说出来的苦是软弱，埋藏在心里的苦叫坚强。
The bitterness spoken is eak, and the bitterness buried in the heart is strong.
6、大便的离去，是马桶的追求，还是屁股的不挽留。
The departure of stool is the pursuit of toilets or the non-retention of buttocks.
7、不求门当户对，只求感觉到位。
Do not seek the right door, just feel the right place.
8、成功在暗处看着我们，因为我们为成功而奋斗。
Suess looks at us in the dark, because e strive for suess.
9、探索的旅程不在于发现新大陆，而在于培养新视角。
The journey of exploration lies not in disvering the ne ntinent, but in cultivating ne perspectives.
10、别跟我谈感情，谈感情伤钱。
Don't talk to about feelings. Feelings hurt money.
11、我以为我很颓废，今天我才知道，原来我早报废了。
I thought I as decadent. Today I realized that I had scrapped.
12、知识就像内裤，看不见但很重要。
Knoledge is like underear, invisible but important.
13、让未来到来，让过去过去。
Let the future e, let the past pass.
14、最可笑的爱情就是你爱她，还和我在一起。
The most ridiculous love is that you love her and stay ith .
15、英雄难过美人关，我不是英雄，美人让我过了关。
The hero is sorry for the beauty. I am not a hero. The beauty let pass.
16、不宽恕众生，不原谅众生，是苦了你自己。
Not fiving all living beings, not fiving all living beings, is suffering your on.
17、哥吸烟，是因为它伤肺，不伤心。
Brother smokes because it hurts his lungs and doesn't hurt.
18、懒惰就像生锈一样，比操劳更消耗身体。
Laziness, like rust, nsus more body than labour.
19、一个人，一条街，一个角落，一场无声的哭泣。
A person, a street, a rner, a silent cry.
20、诚心做事容易办好事；成天想事，郁郁不得志。
It's easy to do good things ith sincerity; it's frustrating to think about things all the ti.
21、绝口不提不是因为忘记，而是因为铭记。
Never ntion it because of fetting, but because of rembering.
22、如果梦想没，生活没如果。
If dreams are not, but life is not.
23、听你讲的笑话，我一共哭了两次！
Listening to your jokes, I cried tice in all!
24、从天堂到地狱，哥只是路过人间。
From heaven to hell, brother just passes through the orld.
25、路见不平一声吼，吼完继续往前走。
The road sa uneven roar, roar and ntinue to move forard.
26、不能自拔的，除了爱情，还有别人地里的萝卜。
Can not extricate themselves, in addition to love, there are other people in the field of radish.
27、那些你狠冒险的梦，我陪你去疯。
I'll go crazy ith you in your adventurous dreams.
28、狂妄的人有救，自卑的人没有救。
The arrogant man is saved, the inferior man is not saved.
29、如果下雪不打伞，是不是我们就可以一路走到白头。
If it doesn't snofall ithout an umbrella, can e go all the ay to the hite end?
30、女人喜欢长得坏坏的男人，不是喜欢长坏了的男人。
Won like bad-looking n, not bad-looking n.
31、别人一夸我，我就担心，担心别人夸得不够。
When others praise , I orry that others don't praise enough.
32、你要是鲜花，以后牛都不敢拉屎了。
If you ere a floer, cattle ould not dare to shit in the future.
33、世界总是一样的，只是我们的心情和遭遇不一样而已。
The orld is alays the sa, but our mood and experience are different.
34、虽然我在认真的忽悠你，你要假装相信我。
Although I'm seriously fooling you, you have to pretend to believe .
35、勇于接受别人的批评，正好可以调整自己的缺点。
Aepting criticism from others is a good ay to adjust one's on shortings.
36、我的眼里只有你，不过心里有别人！
I only have you in my eyes, but soone else in my heart!
37、老板用你的时候你就是人才，不用你的时候就变成裁人！
When the boss uses you, you are a talented person, and hen you don't use you, you bee a layoff!
38、我可以选择放弃，但不能放弃选择。
I can choose to give up, but I can't give up.
39、要不是打不过你，早就跟你翻脸了。
If I hadn't beaten you, I ould have turned my face ith you.
40、识就像内裤，看不见但很重要。
Knoledge is like underear, invisible but important.
41、我们的爱情在这天夭折了，只为了让彼此有重生的机会。
Our love died on this day just to give each other a chance to rebirth.
42、都说姐漂亮，其实都是妆出来的。
They all say that my sister is beautiful, but in fact they are all made up.
43、人家怕你，并不是一种福，人家欺你，并不是一种辱。
It's not a blessing to be afraid of you. It's not an insult to be bullied.
44、其实我很宅，只是宅在谁家里的问题。
Actually, I'm very holess. It's just a question of ho I'm staying at.
45、男人的大脑喜欢女人的内心，眼睛喜欢女人的外表。
Men's brains like on's hearts, but their eyes like on's appearance.
46、爱情永远比婚姻圣洁，婚姻永远比爱情实惠。
Love is alays holier than marriage, and marriage is alays more beneficial than love.
47、每个成功的男人背后，都会有一个吃饱了没事做的女人。
Behind every suessful man, there ill be a oman ho is full and has nothing to do.
48、作为失败的典型，你实在是太成功了。
As a model of failure, you are so suessful.
49、要不是老师说不能乱扔垃圾，不然偶早把你扔出去。
If it eren't for the teacher's advice that you shouldn't thro rubbish around, you ould have been thron out earlier.
50、别人装处，我只好装经验丰富。
Others pretend that I have to pretend to be experienced.
51、平时骂你就算了，非要等我打你，才知道我文武双全。
Usually slding you is enough. I have to ait for to hit you before I kno that I have both civil and military skills.
52、别人都在假装正经，我只好假装不正经。
Others are pretending to be serious, so I have to pretend to be unhealthy.
53、叹气是最浪费时间的事情，哭泣是最浪费力气的行径。
Sighing is the most ti-nsuming thing, and crying is the most energy-asting thing.
54、有些人死了很有价值，有些人死了他的画很有价值！
So people die of great value, so people die of his paintings are of great value!
55、上流社会的人，总喜欢做点下流的事。
People in the upper class alays like to do so dirty things.
56、我的优点是我很帅；我的缺点是我帅的不明显。
My advantage is that I am handso; but my disadvantage is that I am not handso.
57、你把别人想得太复杂，是因为你也不简单。
You think too much of others because you are not simple.
58、我建议大家对我的长相，理解为主，欣赏为辅。
I suggest that you give priority to understanding and appreciation of my appearance.
59、白天我生活在自己的梦里，晚上我在别人的梦里！
In the dayti I live in my on dream, in the evening I am in soone else's dream!
60、这个世界本来就是痛苦的，没有例外的。
The orld is painful, ithout exception.
61、人生有时就像电脑，说死机就死机，没得商量。
Sotis life is like a puter, saying that hen the machine crashes, it ill crash ithout discussion.